Not sure if speed painting adds more calm or stress LOL.
References & times:
I honestly don’t know how long this took since I was multitasking while I did this. I’d say around 40min-1hr.
Your Anime Story
- your story’s length:
- your genre:
- your character:
- your lover:
- the climax:
- the ending:
Your story’s length: 300 eps
Your genre: Seinen
Your character: The class rep
Your lover: The otaku
The climax: You and your lover order tacos
The ending: You become God
Hmmm I think I’m ok with this.
~30 min. Been a while since I did colorful things.
I am Dreamer Detective **********-San
Boiman has finally become a manchild.
Also, it has come to my attention that the human females’ boobs jiggle when they dance naked.
Next in line is fabulous mesman. Surprisingly I have not leveled this fast since my necromancer. I’ve read so many posts about mesmers being so painful to level and how they die so easily but for me I actually died way more as a warrior and elementalist at this stage. Perhaps the mesmer play style just suits me more haha.
At first maybe I was, but over time I’ve gotten braver about it. Right now, the fact that I cosplay and blog about things that get my geeky heart guts racing — it’s no secret.
People usually hide this part of themselves from their folks, but my parents know of my sites and blogs and they’re proud of me for them. It’s almost embarrassing how they’ll show off my page to anyone who shows the slightest bit of interest. Some of my relatives know of my sites too, usually because they find out how their kids’ friends know of me and get all amazed that I’m related to them. I just find that funny because I don’t ever see myself in the celebrity kinda light that they put me in, but it doesn’t bother me at all that they know of this side of my life.
I also have other friends who aren’t into cosplay or anime or stuff like that at all, but they think it’s cool that I have this relatively unusual hobby. It doesn’t get in the way of my relationships with them so we don’t see a problem. They’re also into stuff that aren’t really my cup of tea, but we became friends for reasons beyond our hobbies so we don’t judge each other over that.
If my non-cosplayer friends were the type of people who would make fun of me for how I choose to enjoy my free time, then I wouldn’t be friends with them.
I do understand where you’re coming from, though. It’s a lot easier and more fun to celebrate the things you love when you’ve got people to share them with. And of course, you don’t want to possibly be alienated by your friends and end up alone.
However, it’s not good either that you’re getting eaten up from the inside by this feeling that you’re constantly suppressing who you are. Personally, I think it’s worse to miss out on doing things you love as opposed to being ridiculed for enjoying them.
Think of it this way: People might (it’s not even guaranteed that they will) make fun of you for embracing the things you like, but they’ll probably forget about it after a short time. However, if you keep holding yourself back, one day you might look back and regret all the things you missed out on. YOU are the one who has to live with your decisions for the rest of your life, so focus more on making yourself happy over appeasing other people.
As I’ve said, I do get though that it’s easier to do when you’ve got the company of people who share this side of you. If your current friends really aren’t the type to be into your specific interests, you can of course still keep them in your life but it would be great if you can be honest with them about that side of yourself. They don’t have to get immersed in everything that you do, but as your friends they ought to be accepting and understanding. If your current friends scorn you for it, you have to ask yourself if it’s really worth having them in your life if you can’t be honest with them about who you are.
You could also try to make new friends who share your interests. There are conventions and fandom-specific gatherings for that. I started out with just one friend who would cosplay with me or accompany me to events, but eventually we met and bonded with many other individuals who were like us.
This talk of a “true self” reminds me of Persona 4. The anime adaptation was excellent, but I don’t think I would have enjoyed it as much if I hadn’t played the game. The dialogues hit me emotionally in ways I never expected a video game could. The screencaps I included are excerpts from the game which kind of relates to your situation.
The scene with Ayane is a bit similar to your conflict about standing up to your friends. I know from experience that conflict in a friendship is tough to deal with because we’re more used to sharing happy things with our friends, and we don’t want to hurt them. Hiding things from them is unfair because you’re not being completely honest, and it’s going to affect your relationship in the long run. It may be tough when you’re getting through these conflicts, but if you get over that hurdle together, it’s that kind of stuff that really brings people closer together. That’s when you know they really want you in their life and are willing to work on making things better.
I hope you find the courage to let your true self out! I guess that’s where Yosuke’s scene comes in. It was definitely true for me. I never imagined how just sharing parts of myself would lead me to meet so many wonderful friends, and that it would allow me to make people laugh or smile even if they’re on the other side of the world from me. I don’t know where I’d be if I decided I was too shy to blog, but I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be writing this to you.
Be brave, it’s okay to be you. :)
And here’s me being discreetly stalking.